My girl and I went to the mall a few days ago, and I decided to drive towards the building and seek out the best parking space. I located one and a huge grin spread across my face. I looked over and said, 'if anyone asks, you're pregnant,' and then proceeded to park in the 'Expecting Mother's' space in front of Old Navy. She was on the phone with her mother when I said this, and they both started giving me grief about how 'not right' this was.
MY justification was, quite simply, to the point.
What is the number one reason women go to the mall while pregnant? (specifically when they would need a front row parking spot) To walk themselves into labor, correct? So, in my utilizing this primo parking space, I am actually doing a civil service on multiple levels:
- If you are going to the mall to go for a walk, it's much healthier to be walking outdoors-fresh air
- If you are going to the mall to induce labor, wouldn't everyone rather have your water break outside where it won't be contaminating publicly crowded areas..?
- Nasty water breakage outside, easy cleanup, just hose it down or let it dry in the sun
Also, every pregnant woman wants to lose the baby weight after the little tyke is born, why not start getting into the cardio groove early?
In the meantime, I shall do my part in population control and not reproduce, and I shall also continue to be a lazy douche who parks in the front row space.